Santa’s wish list

who deserves presents this year

At the top of my list this year is Illinois which is so filled to the brim with inglorious scumbags that the magnitude of violence is so great I may not be able to testify against the magna cum laud rapists of this state. I would have easily graduated with high honors from Lehigh University had I not been raped by the creepiest dudes who clearly did not belong in the Ivory Tower! The recriminations nations, the covering of the asses, the ugliness I am internalizing in this state and from all the last strongholds of maniacal patriarcal violence…